7/26/11 WOMEN & THEIR PURSES IN CHURCH: LESSON RE ETIQUETTE [(photo of worship service at st. Basil on 7/26/11 at 12 noon where I felt offended by a recent immigrant to America & her purse etiquette (or lack of)]
We all know HOW IMPORTANT purses are to women, right? They need all their accesories with them at all times, even at church. Yet church is supposed to be an "inclusive", not exclusive, experience. That is, we as believers should feel "at home" in church, even when visiting other churches, because all congregations make up one big body of Christ, which is the true church. Thus, as a single person who visits a variety of churches, mostly around southern Cal, it has come to my attention that my presence as a single person behing some people in the pew, sometimes causes insecurity, apparently especially women with purses. I don't steal. That is, I don't steal, anymore, There was a brief moment in my life when I did steal a few things (ie. Shoplift) & justified it in a "robin hood" manner, but discontinued my robin hood days a long time ago, & even sent anonymous money orders to the places from whom I stole. That was when I was in college..a long, long, long time ago, & it was less than a handful of times. I'm not going to try to talk about how corporations, etc, steal from people in ways we don't call "stealing." Don't get me going, but that's how I justified the few times I shoplifted. Anyways, 20+ years later, I regularly attend church & every now & then I will sit behind a woman with a purse & sometimes there will be a noticeable & embarrassing moment when the woman suddenly realizes her purse is vulnerable & she moves it away from my arms length. Its all the more embarrassing when its an immigrant woman who does it. Its like a slap-in-the-face. I have some etiquette tips, but the problem is sometimes certain women are not so much genuinely concerned about their purse as much as they are actually trying to marginalize me, an American man. And in such cases, etiquette tips won't help, because the woman is actually trying to offend me..trying to let me know, "I'm not sure I can trust you." If such is the case, then she is being blatantly dishonest & racist & all the more shame on you given she's doing it at church of all places.
Nonetheless, let's assume the woman is simply being naive & ignorant about how her purse movements might offend others in church & simply needs to be educated & informed. Assuming such, here are some tips:
#1 IF U MUST BRING A PURSE, BRING ONLY THE ESSENTIALS, NOT ALL YOUR VALUABLES . During most daily masses, no offering is collected, & you don't even need cash or a checkbook. You could leave it in the car. You will be less anxious, unless of course you are just as anxious about somebody breaking into your car. If so, maybe leave all valuables at home, or lock the purse in the trunk. If such is impracticable, go to tip#2
#2 So you've decided u must bring the purse & all your valuables to church. When you enter the pew, put the purse on the floor by your feet. Nobody can grab it if it is on the floor. And if your feet are on each side of it, nobody will trip on it.
#3 Try to remember you are at church and are supposed to be learning & growing spiritually, including becoming more hospitable, welcoming, & concerned about others, not trying to offend or marginalize a person. If you are NOT sincere about church, maybe that's why you are so fearful of others stealing from you.
