..I'm at a table signing up to be a potential bone marrow donor ..& I'm saying to the nurse "I give blood regularlyk & she gives one of those "good for u" comments as if I were bragging about being good..people such as her regularly shut us down as good citizens so that we never talk about being good..yet this is at a church where we should be proclaiming good & expecting others to sincerely encourage us..its not "jewish" to do good deeds and mention it..it is "legalistic" to do good deeds just in the hope of being seen for doing good deeds & being commended, without sincerity of heart for the cause ..& this was just after stephen chong gave his message..about being persecuted...and to remember god uses the evil deeds of others for a greater good ..as he did w joseph being sold to slaves by his brothers..so I have to similarly remember that people such as this korean gal will "persecute" me for being good with a sarcastic "good for u" at church..when I should hope for a sincere "congrats" not a false, trying-to-quash my optimism "good 4 u"..that's a soul-defeating tactic of the devil that I wouldn't expect at church, but actually on 2nd thought would expect at some churches amongst some of the nominal parishioners who have ulterior motives for going to church, other than true love of god ...reminds me of my experience w/ a guy named soon or joon also a korean in anaheim who was selling his car..I test drove it..and wa intrsted in buying it but he started acting distrustful of me & tried to Give me "commands"..definitely posturing..& I called off the deal ..& sent a text message later saying "I can't do business w/ u" & scolding him for his racist posture..which is a big problem in korean -american culture...I even notice it in chong a little, albeit he does his best to be inclusive ..& does do his "homework" for sermons ..he also like to say "can I get an amen? (X7 at last count today..at first I didn't understand why he does this so much but he's preaching specifically to this korean-american culture that is sarcastic, reserved, & somewhat self-centered..as this gal herself who was sarcastic towards me revealed) ..so I have to remember who chong is trying to reach..chong has been to college & seminary..he's got a quality education & is a good person, I can sense it ..he's doing his best to reach this asian-american culture and their specific issues..which is partially passive-aggressive ..its their simultaneous insecurity of not being fully american yet having grown up here & knowing english very well ..thus they resent some of their "white" counterparts who are ggiven more "american" status just b/c they are "white" americans..that resent,ent I feel at times, albeit they don't know my ethnic story of growing up in a dutch-american culture.....
